trying to make time-sensitive plans with someone who doesn’t text back quickly
what if you woke up one day and you were hot
idk i’d probably open the window or something
I JUST REALIZED WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS SOUND LIKE! THEY COULD’VE BEEN SPEAKING FLUENT GERMAN FOR ALL WE KNOW
it’s too early for this late night tumblr shit
GUTEN MORGEN HERR PTERODACTYL
Listening to a girl moan and orgasm, has to be one of the hottest things I could ever hear.
Listening to a guy moan is also incredibly hot.
Hearing the microwave go off when it’s done cooking my pizza rolls is SO HOT.
That the kind of eye-rape that gets you from 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds.
Oh my god Colton Haynes is so fucking sexy
i would fuck him so hard omfg
but really tho
Why Did I Do That?: A novel by me, with special guest appearances by several alcoholic beverages